Nooooooooope. Wendy’s? I think not. Ladies, I have news for you. My howze is where it’s at.
However, this blog is not about uploading terrible youtube videos for your viewing pleasure/disgust/nostalgia! It’s for cooking and witticism and all around good cheer! Furthermore, there is nothing I enjoy more than trimming a giant piece of beef, so let us celebrate in all things beef, good followers of the Dumpling! I apologize for sounding like one of the Knights of the Round Table!
..did that one elderly lady bare an eerie resemblance to Sophia from Golden Girls? Holy hell…
Coffee-Garlic Marinated Steak
Okay, so let’s start where all this mad cow disease started for me. I love coffee. More than Crack Horton’s addicts (but they’re only addicted to the nicotine and formaldehyde that lingers in the cups). I also recently acquired a taste for steak, at work, having it thrown down onto my station several times, just a hunk of meat, slathered in butter and, just hanging out. Waiting for me to try it. Of course I gave in, there was butter involved. You’d do the same. If you wouldn’t, please leave my blog now. For real.
So, then I started thinking, “Red eye gravy. Red eye.. STEAK?” In case you don’t know, red eye gravy is a popular sauce made in the Southern U.S., a basic gravy that uses coffee in place of water or milk, and it’s very, very good, although usually served with ham steaks. I am not fond of those. Long story short (well, not really), I ended up marinating sirloin steak in a coffee-garlic mixture, and the results were, “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omgwtfsteaaaak!” to be perfectly subtle. It’s very robust, very tender, very exotic and familiar tasting at the same time. You will like it, I offer you money back guarantee!
2 cups *good* coffee, very strong brew, cooled. Chilled, really.
1/2 head of garlic, cloves
1/3 cup yellow onion, diced
1 green chili pepper, seeded and rough cut
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp dark brown sugar
2 Tbsp lime juice
3 Tbsp soy sauce
3/4 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
2 eight oz. sirloin tip steaks
2 Tbsp butter, for sauce
Using a mortar and pestle (or food pro on pulse, who cares?), mash together the onion, garlic and chili pepper until it is a smashed-up, awesome, chunky paste consistency. In a large bowl, mix up the smashed up veg with all remaining ingredients besides steak and butter. Whisk it good! Then add your steaks, cover and let marinate in the fridge for 1-8 hours (however, I cheat and disregard Food Handler’s completely sometimes, and marinate it on the counter for an hour… Take that, FST!). When you’re ready to cook, and steaks are sufficiently marinated, preheat your oven to “broil,” and throw a cast iron skillet in while it’s heating up. When it’s good and hot, place steaks in the skillet, along with about a 1/4 cup of your marinade. Place into the broiler for 2.5 minutes per side (you’ll end up with medium-rare, which is goooood), and then let rest, covered with foil on a plate for about 5-10 minutes, so the juices absorb and you don’t end up with blood all over your plate. Awesome. While it’s resting, take the 1/4 cup of marinade from the skillet, and pass it through a sieve into a small saucepan. Let it reduce for about two minutes over high heat (you wanna add some good red wine in there now? Do it.), and then stir in the butter. Swirl it around until you have a sauce! Then sauce yo steak. You done, baby!
Caraway Beef Soup
This ‘un… It probably sounds insane, but it is! In a good way! You know how good a sandwich tastes, any sandwich at all, but particularly a roast beef sandwich on rye, with caraway? That’s what’s going on in this soup, honeysuckles. It’s what I’d eat if I were a weary, homesick Scandinavian spending time in Texas, that’s for damn sure. I just got tired of making beef soup that tasted like Scotch Broth. This soup is equally warming and homey, but it has the magic of CARAWAY!!!
2 -3 lbs beef shins, or about 1- 1.5 lbs steak, cubed
2 small onions, small dice
2 stalks celery, small dice
2 carrots, sliced on a small bias
4 cloves garlic, minced
8 cups water
1/2 cup green lentils
1/2 cup pearl barley
3 tsp paprika
1 bay leaf
1 Tbsp worcestershire
2 Tbsp + 1 tsp caraway seeds
2 cups shredded green (or savoy!!!) cabbage
salt and pepper, to taste
In a large pot, saute shin bones or steak in a small amount of oil, until they brown. Remove from pot and set aside. Saute onions, celery and carrots , until they begin to brown, about 5-7 minutes, over medium-high heat. Add garlic, and saute for another 1-2 minutes. Add water, whatever beef product your little heart has desired, and bring to a boil. Let it boil for several minutes until some of the “scum” has collected at the top. Now is the time to skim, skim, skim! Get rid of those impurities. Add all remaining ingredients at this point, let boil for about 5 minutes, then drop to a simmer for 1 1/2 – 2 hours. If you feel so inclined, you can add the cabbage later on, say, 20 minutes prior to serving, for a crisper vegetable element. How chic.